


Once Upon A Time...

by orphan_account



Series: RadioSnake fics [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: ASEXUAL PANIC, M/M, Panic Attacks, might have other relationships, woag niffty's here for once
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Alastor/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: RadioSnake fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749937
Kudos: 51





	1. The Deal

“UGH!!”  
Sir Pentious facepalmed, practically fuming with frustration.

“WE’VE SSPENT OVER EIGHT DAYS AND YOU IDIOTIC FETUSSSES HAVE SSSSTILL COME UP WITH NOTHING!!” Pentious yelled to the egg bois. 

“We’re sorry, Mr. Bossman. We don’t know what denomination is.” 

“DOMINATION,” Pent corrected,  
“it’s DOMination.” 

Sir Pentious sighed and slid down in his seat. 

“We sssstill need a plan, nonetheless.” Pentious finally spoke. “We cannot just simply ‘wing it,’ as the youngsters say.”

The eggs thought for once in their existence. They stood quietly.  
Sir Pentious’s hood suddenly extended, and the eggs could practically see the lightbulb over his head. 

“OH! What if-“  
Pentious’s thought was cut off by loud, clacking footsteps.

“Helloooooo!”

The staticky voice that then filled the room gave Sir Pentious chills down his vertebrae. 

“Oh no…” Sir Pentious mumbled under his breath. 

“Alasstor! Pleasure to see you once again. ...in my lair... ...uninvited.” 

“Anytime!” The deer exclaimed.  
Sir Pentious scoffed.

“Anywhom, I’ve come here for a reason this time!”

Pentious glared at the Radio Demon, “What could you POSSSSSIBLY want from me, you sssmiling buffoon?!”

Alastor grinned smugly, his lip curling and revealing his black gums.

“Why, I’ve come here to offer you a deal.~”

“What kind of deal?” The snake inquired.

“One to protect dear princess Charlotte’s hotel, which you consistently attack.”

Pentious smiled.  
“And why should I accept this ‘deal’? What will I get out of thissss?”

“Well, for one, I won’t kill you.”

“You couldn’t hurt me if you wanted to.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it goes against Charlie’s rules.”

Alastor’s eyes widened slightly. He opened his mouth and shut it again, still smiling.  
Gotcha, Pentious thought to himself.

“She will not tolerate violencccce, and by you helping her with this little ‘Happy Hotel’ of hers, you must follow her rulesss, as to lead an example for the patientsss.”

Alastor looked away for a moment, his static growing louder. Pentious had actually caught him. How could he slip up like this? He knows better.

“Ssssso, I suppose we have no deal, then?~” Sir Pentious asked slyly.

Alastor cleared his throat, “i-it depends.”

“What is it that you desire?”

Pentious laughed and said sarcastically, “How about your heart?” He cackled, meaning to physically hold Alastor’s severed heart.  
Alastor smiled. “As you wish.~”

Pent stopped laughing instantly, “Wait, WHAT-”

He was interrupted by Alastor pecking him on the snout. He froze, and everything went silent. The egg bois oooo’d in the distance, but he didn’t hear them. He was trapped in this moment of time. Alastor’s soft, warm lips against the tip of his nose. He felt his face heat up, and his heart rate began to pick up speed. It felt like his lips were on Pent’s snout for hours within what was really only three seconds.

“So. Do we have a deal?~” Alastor asked him.

Sir Pentious blinked a couple of times, dazed. “U-uh, I sssuppose…”  
Although, that’s not what I meant by “your heart”…

“Splendid! Now. Promise me we won’t ever have to do that again.”

“Hmm?”

“Kiss. I don’t quite like kissing. At all.”

“Ah! Of coursssse not.”

“Good.”

And with that, Alastor spun around, walking away.  
“I hope to see that you hold up your end of the deal, monsieur.~”

Sir Pentious stood there dumbfound, his hand resting at the base of his snout. He watched as the deer demon before him walked away, each footstep making a loud clack as it hit the hard floor, echoing. He sighed softly, feeling butterflies in his stomach. Looking at Alastor made him feel warm all over. He shook it off and turned around, looking at the egg bois. Number 18 was the only one there, smiling at him in a know-it-all kind of way.

“What are you looking at?” He snapped at them.

The egg jumped in surprise and quickly ran away. Pentious groaned. 18 was definitely going to tell the others about this.  
Sir Pentious slithered over to his chair and took a seat, staring up at the roof. 

“Is that FREAK really going to go through with this?” he mumbled to no one in particular.  
“...I doubt this ‘deal’ will lassst long…”

~

Alastor had made his way back to his radio tower. He closed the door behind him and pressed his back against it. Letting out a deep sigh, he slid down to the floor. He sat with his knees to his chest.

“I don’t think I can go through with this.”  
He said quietly to himself, his smile dropping only for a moment.  
His heart was still racing from earlier. The kiss to Sir Pentious’s snout made him far more nervous than he had anticipated. His face felt hot and he had an odd queasy feeling like he was going to throw up. Was he sick? He didn’t understand. Was he that disgusted by the giant snake? He ran a hand down his face, groaning. It’s bad enough that he caught me in that threat, he thought to himself. 

“Well,” he started, “sitting on the floor and sulking about it won’t do any good!”

He stood up, placing his hand on his knee for balance.

“I best check on Charlie. She seemed quite worried earlier.”

~


	2. Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor can't find Husk or Niffty. Sir Pentious comes to a big realization.

“Why were you at his LAIR?!”

Charlie practically screamed those words at Alastor when he had returned. The deer’s ears went down, not expecting such a loud sound. 

“Charlie, I took care of things. You won’t have to worry about any attacks from that filthy snake!”

Charlie sighed, “You shouldn’t have gone off on your own. Since the clock tower broke, nobody knows when the next Cleanse will be. It’s like playing Russian Roulette out there! Do you even have a travel buddy?”

Alastor rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Charlotte, dear, I have no need for a ‘travel buddy.’ I’m the Radio Demon. I can handle anything outside myself. I know what I’m doing, alright? No worries!”

Charlie looked down and crossed her arms, unsure. Alastor’s words didn’t reassure her in the slightest. 

“...Listen,” Alastor started, “I doubt the Cleanse will be anytime soon. The last one was 206 days ago! We have time. When it gets closer, THEN I’ll get a ridiculous ‘travel buddy.’ Is that alright?”

Alastor put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, giving her a kind and genuine smile.  
She smiled back and sighed, “Okay…”

“Splendid.”

He patted her shoulder and turned towards the fireplace, where Niffty usually sat whenever she wasn’t cleaning. 

“Say, darling, have you seen Niffty at all?”

“Uh, no. Not all day. Why?”

Alastor felt his heart race. 

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing. W-Where did you see her last?”

Alastor felt himself growing anxious. He couldn’t figure out why, but he was beginning to panic at the idea of not knowing where the little cyclops was. 

“Umm… I think she was with Husk yesterday. Is everything alright, Al?”

“Mhm! Everything’s grand! Thank you, Charlie.”

Alastor turned and sped walked to the bar. Husk wasn’t there. Al froze. 

“What???”

He looked behind the counter to see if Husk had passed out drunk on the floor. Still no sighting of the winged feline. Alastor put his hand on his forehead.

“Where are they?!”

He looked around the bar again, searching and searching. Trying to find SOMETHING that had to do with the two. All he saw was a bunch of Husk’s feathers and-

He stopped dead in his tracks. 

He looked down at the small pile of feathers. 

Red. 

There was blood there.

Husk’s blood. 

~

Sir Pentious sat in his lair, contemplating the events that happened that morning. He thought of how red Alastor’s cheeks had looked when he left. The way Alastor made him feel…

Pentious shook it off. He must be going mad! Why would he think about that wretched deer so much?!  
It was more than he usually thinks of Alastor. And those thoughts were always of how much Sir Pentious would hurt him. Different ways to bring him pain.

The thoughts he had been having today were… strange, to say the least. The thoughts he’d been having lately were about Alastor’s gentle touch. His smile, the genuine one when he’s ACTUALLY happy. And his laugh…

“Wait a minute… WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!”

Sir Pentious shook his head so hard he could practically feel his brain do cartwheels. 

“GOD! WHY?”  
Sir Pentious slammed his hand against his forehead.

“What isss WRONG with me??!”

~*You’re in love.*~

“What?” Pentious snapped, looking around frantically.

~*You always have been.*~

He looked around the large, empty room.

“W-Whoever said that, show yourssself! YOU DON’T SSSSSSCARE ME!”

Silence.

It was then that Sir Pentious realized…

He was only yelling at himself.

~


End file.
